From "Oh Dog!" to "No Dog!" Life at the end of a Service Dog Leash

This blog is lovingly dedicated to veterans everywhere. Many of you find independence from war wounds with a service dog. It’s heartbreaking to know, the same tool that gives you freedom, can produce a barrier. Receiving a Bronze Star for meritorious service in a combat zone is only the beginning of a battle. You come home fighting a new war to get a simple cup of coffee, because someone doesn’t want to follow the ADA and allow your Service Dog in the restaurant. I read of people getting fists and trash can lids to the side of the head while other restaurant patrons cheer. RESPECT is lacking in the 21^st century.

Thank you for your service everyone!

PREFACE

I  offer this blog as an educational tool. My opinions are strong, they are my own. —If you don’t like them write your own blog. The events and impressions come from my many years of experience with a Service Dog. I don’t share names of people or organizations because that would serve no purpose. However, if you find something of educational value please feel free to apply it to your life and share it with others.

“OH DOG!”

“What a cute doggie”

“Oh, poor baby having to work.”

“Such a good dog.”

“see the dog, see the dog, woof, woof, see the dog.” (People apparently want their child to see a dog it must be a large event)

These remarks are wonderful under NORMAL circumstances for a PET dog. What happens when they are applied to the SERVICE DOG, who functions as a MEDICAL DEVICE?

Well, the Service Dog and human hear these remarks again, again, and again, everywhere they go 30, 60, 90 times per day times 365 days a year.

I’m often told this is “harmless,” “no big deal,” “just deal with it.” I can’t always reply when I’m out in public so I would like to do so now:

To everyone who tries to “help”

It is nice to have someone offer help but please do not be offended if I don’t accept. For my own preservation and independence, it’s important to use the Service Dog for the work she is trained to do. You won’t always be around, and what you think is “help” may cause me to fall, or disrupt the working dog. It’s interesting to me that I needed help for years, often unable to reach things, or manage stairs.—upon asking for help people would look at me like I was from outer space..—Now I need far less help because I have a Service Dog,--Yet, there is this rush of “help” from well-meaning people who are actually just in the way.

PS. Don’t place my hand on things and shout “someone help the blind lady.” I have friends who are blind and friends who are deaf.—There is no shame in being either or both.—BUT, I don't appreciate you  making assumptions based upon the Service Dog, an outward symbol of my disability, something I have to wear like a scarlet letter. Don't presume, assume, or think you know anything about me 

.—SERVICE DOGS ARE NOT JUST FOR BLIND PEOPLE!

To Miss “I’m such a dog person I can’t help it” and

 Mr. & Mrs.  “2-year old needs a teachable moment.”

The dog you think is “so cute” is a MEDICAL DEVICE it was not brought to this public forum for your amusement or education. Could I interest you in petting a cane or wheelchair? Oh, why not? You are so captivated by my device that allows me to get where I’m going and be “normal.”  You only want “pets” and “teach time” with things that have fur? There are lots of dogs at the local shelter who need stokes, love, attention, eyes, petting, and gawking, please go there, and leave the Service Dog ALONE! I am not a public spectacle, a thing, for your child to see, touch, feel, or experience. I am a PERSON trying to live life without being stared at, picked apart, watched, or stalked.

Don’t expect me to reply to questions about my dog. My super happy auto-pilot is not always working.  
Your curious questions are a painful, private part of my life, coping with a disability. Oh, but since you mentioned it, do you use latex or non-latex condoms and what do  they do for you? Well, don’t be upset I know I’m a total stranger but, I just thought I would ask , I noticed the condoms in your basket, I could search for the information on my own but I figured I would ask you because that condom package is so adorable.

  PS. There is a HUMAN attached to the end of the Service Dog’s leash, most of you pass by and don’t even notice. A day, week, month… years of these experiences produces a feeling of isolation and invisibility for the human, it also shows how RUDE people are!

To everyone who just has ONE question:

No one ever has just one question about the service dog. If I reply to your questions I have to reply to questions from the 25 people behind you, a line forms, it takes me 3 hours to do a “quick trip” to the store. –and you block the aisle for 25+ people who actually don’t give a darn about dogs they are just trying to transact business. Please spare us all by using a search engine.

To the many people out there with dog stories:

The Service Dog handler hears MANY dog stories every day. A single trip to a large store means up 15 dog stories per hour and hearing “dog” up to 100 times per hour.—(my own actual stats kept from years of trying to go out and live my life). Can we stand another dog story? Yes, but try to make it a happy one instead of telling us about the dog that just got run over, or looked exactly like ours and had to be put down. It’s interesting to us that your cousin’s best friend has a service dog but we don’t necessarily need comparisons such as: “I know most people who have service dogs are blind and you are not blind—are you?—so that means you probably don’t need your dog as much as well, if you were actually blind.. Finally, PLEASE avoid the one thing we hear many times per week: “I just can’t stand to be away from my dog I love him so much. I went out and bought a Service Dog vest so he could go on vacation with me.”: UGH! Thanks for letting me know you are making my life more difficult by bringing your untrained dog into public places. You love your dog so much that you FAKE a disability?

To the many people who think I am lucky to take my dog everywhere:

I have a disability that requires me to be connected to the Service Dog 24/7. I am certainly grateful for the freedom that the Service dog provides but, please don’t tell me how “lucky” I am be to be disabled. As much as you would love to have your pet with you everywhere, I would LOVE to not need my Service Dog with me. No one wants to be told how lucky they are to need a medical device. Finally, I ask you to read the rest of this blog carefully and then tell me how “lucky” I am to take my dog everywhere!

“NO DOG!”

“NO DOG!" is the other side of the Service Dog coin. Many places do not train their employees in Service Dog access law and basic manners. Some organizations continually apologize but do nothing to change employee behavior, and sadly there are a few people out there that just don’t want to follow Federal Law.

     “Yes “NO DOG” is the worst for me!”

     "Hello Goodee, the Service Dog welcome to the blog. Why were you not active during the “Oh Dog!” part?"

     “Well mom, when people gush and make silly faces, I take it in stride and ignore them because I’m a trained service dog but when people say, “NO DOG” everything comes to a halt.”

     “That’s true I can’t get anything done without you Goodee.”

     “Not even this blog!”

     “Very funny Goodee, since you are so good with words why not tell our friends about some “NO DOG!” experiences?”

     “Let’s see there’s some discrete events like:

1.       Not being invited to lunch because co-workers are afraid of dogs.

2.       Not being invited to parties because people have pets that might not get along with your service dog.

3.       Being excluded from volunteer work you use to do before “the dog” because well, “the dog might be a problem for some people.”

4.       “I would invite you over but our landlord doesn’t like dogs. I know, I know it’s a Service Dog but our landlord is just mean and I don’t want to “make problems” for other tenants.”

     “These are certainly in our “NO DOG!” experiences Goodee but they aren’t against the law. Some people are afraid of dogs, or they have pets that might not get along with the dog. What can we do about it?”

     “#4 is illegal mom… A landlord can’t keep a visitor out because they have a Service Dog. Service Dogs must be allowed to accompany people with disabilities in all areas of public access.”

   

  “Oh, I stand corrected Goodee the Service Dog, #4 is a matter of Service Dog access protected by law but, what do we do about 1, 2, and 3?”

     “There’s not anything we can do mom but, we need to educate people and let them know how it feels for someone with a Service Dog. The person with the Service Dog has a disability. They can’t control the fact that they need the dog. The Service Dog is meant to allow the disabled person to do things. I’m just saying mom… A person should not have to apologize for needing a Service Dog, and they certainly should not be confronted with a barrier and treated like a totally different “odd” person just because they need the dog!”

     “Okay Goodee, remember this is not a rant. Just finish up with one of the worst “NO DOG!” experiences you can think of. Something that’s not against the law but, is still rude and makes us feel badly.”

     “Well there was this ride share driver, U-know who U-are.”

     “Careful Goodee, no names."

     “yes, well this made  me mad mom so I would like to say what’s on my mind”

     “Okay continue Goodee”

     “This guy drives up and I’m in a vest that says SERVICE DOG ACCESS REQUIRED and you are holding my leash. He rolls his eyes, exhaling in a huff and says:

     “Does the dog HAVE to go with us.?”

     “Well no shit Sherlock, yes the dog does HAVE to go!”

     “So, he was lacking brains give the driver a break Goodee. I did advise him that you are a Service Dog and even told him you are trained in balance/counter balance. —He gave us a ride so what’s the big deal?”

     “The big deal mom is how he went out of his way to be continually rude. You showed him our blanket, he gets a blanket from his trunk and then a SECOND time says: “Does the dog HAVE to go? It’s just that it’s a NEW car with LEATHER interior.”

     “He was over the top Goodee but, it was a NEW CAR with LEATHER interior you know.”

     “Oh mom, do I have to explain it to you? The driver knows that he is required by law to transport Service Dogs. All the ride share companies suggest that drivers carry a blanket because they are required to transport Service Dogs. It was the driver’s choice to be a driver for U-know who, using his NEW car with LEATHER interior.”

     “Wow, I had never thought of that Goodee! You mean the driver has a choice whether he wants to hire his car out but, I don’t have a choice about not being able to stand up without a Service dog?”

     “Exactly mom! This guy was so irritating the way he went on about his new car, he even told us a THIRD time that he had a NEW car with LEATHER interior. Just put us in the car and be done with it.!”

IN SUMMARY

So,  that’s life at the end of the Service Dog leash. I am either the invisible person you don’t even notice because the dog is so gosh darn cute, the mean person who won’t let you pet the dog, or the person who ranks in importance somewhere well below the NEW car LEATHER interior.

While I am most grateful and thankful, I ask you:

Am I "lucky" to take my dog everywhere?

Team Goodee appreciates our family and friends when we are out and about we must say:

Not Now We Are Working!

and when we are lucky

Not Now We Are On Vacation!

Check out GoodeeWorks Productions on Facebook.

UPCOMING EVENTS:

It’s Your Dime Travel has put together an accessible affordable cruise for us.

HALLOWEEN AT SEA 2018!

Cruise along with TEAM GOODEE as we explore 3 Service Dog friendly ports.

We receive no compensation for reservations. We just love cruising and want to have a few friends along.

We'll be sailing on the new MSC ship, Seaside, from the Port of Miami, through the Eastern Caribbean to St. Maarten, San Juan, Puerto Rico and Nassau Bahamas.

MSC Seaside rewrites the rule book of cruise ship design, blending indoor and outdoor areas to connect you with the sea like never before. Circling the entire ship as low as Deck 8 is a unique seafront promenade lined with places to eat, drink, shop, swim and sunbathe. And you can enjoy more superb views from the two-deck glass-walled atrium and panoramic elevators.

Come on in the water is fine!

https://www.facebook.com/events/113215115945800/

CHILL OUT! Interaction with the Service Dog Team

PREFACE:  Summer can be a difficult time for the Service Dog team, heat, and crowds bring on additional stress.

I constantly hear people say, “I just didn’t know.” That’s why this blog exists, so that people may know, understand, and educate themselves.

This post is lovingly dedicated to U.S. veterans.  Thank you for your service and sacrifice. Team Goodee is blessed to have Service Dog friends in every branch of the U.S. military, and some in the U.K., and Canada.  Social media makes the world our neighborhood.

To our military friends, thanks for teaching us to “walk in our shoes,” stand up, and speak out.

It’s hard to find ways to educate others. Giving out information when we are out and about is difficult at best.

    

“We should probably let people walk in our shoes mom.”

    

“Oh, hello Goodee the Service Dog nice of you to join the blog.”

    

“Let people walk in our shoes? Goodee, don’t you mean empathize?”

     

“No mom, you said empathize, I didn’t.  I don’t use the big words I just supply the humor.”

    

“You mean you literally want people to walk in our shoes? It could get crowded. I hate to point out the obvious but you don’t wear shoes.”

     

“No mom, I mean figuratively speaking, I want people assimilate what it is like for us as Service Animal and human.”

    

“ASSEMILATE? Goodee, now who is using BIG words?”

     “Ok mom, people just need to take in our culture and fully understand what we go through.”

     “Oh, I see, Goodee, why don’t we try to explain.”

     “Right mom, that’s code for I’m going to say things that might upset people and pretend that the Service Dog said it.”

BUSTED by my Service Dog again. I am known for keeping people at a distance. I’ve had people say, “I remember you; you don’t want people around you or your dog.”

To which I reply: “yes that would be me.”

     “Well it’s not like I am an ordinary dog mom. I’m the medical device.”

   

     "Correct Goodee, you function like both a cane and a walker for me. You help with balance/counter balance and estimate distances for me.”

     “I do all that mom and more. I also tell you when to change your head position to avoid migraine headaches, I help you find a safe place and your migraine medicine... There’s a few other things too. Frankly, I deserve a raise.”

    

     “Well, I could do a few extra pig ears per week.”

     “Cool.”

     “Since I gave you a raise, could you help the blog along?”

     “Goodee to the rescue again. Why don’t we just explain to people what it’s like for us?”

     “You mean so they can empathize?”

     “Right mom, empathize and ASSEMILATE.”

WALK IN OUR SHOES

I wish people could “walk in our shoes.” It would involve much more than putting a vest on a dog and having you go out in public. Even a highly trained dog  would not simulate what it’s like for the Service Dog, and handler.

 I joined several  groups on social media before being paired with Goodee “the great” Service Dog.

I thought: “Gosh these Service Dog people need to get a grip. Why not just let people pet the dog? Surely a little eye contact, or talk couldn’t hurt.? Why not tell people about your Service Dog or disability?  They are just making conversation. —and what’s the big deal if someone talks to the dog and not to you?

In just one week with Goodee, I learned the real consequences of letting others treat the Service Dog like a pet. It took much longer for me to understand how the Service Dog changed my life.

     “Gosh mom that’s sounds epic. Are you going to be able to talk about all that in one blog?” “I hope so Goodee”

The “BIG DEAL” ABOUT SERVICE DOG INTERACTION

The Service Dog functions as a medical device. This is a hard concept to grasp. Medical devices don’t usually have fur. Let me use an illustration from my own life. ---Cerebral Palsy effects my entire left side. Everything on the left side of my body is slower and weaker. My hips freeze up on hard surfaces. Uneven surfaces are a nightmare.   My peripheral vision is so poor I cannot drive a car, ride a bike, go down steps, or walk a half block. When I look down, things seem further away than they are. I need help with stability.

 The Service Dog is AMAZING for stability. A cane is useless to me it’s just another object over which I might fall. However, the Service Dog provides constant motion to keep my muscles and hips moving.  My body stays aligned, the dog goes ahead of me, finding handicap access ramps and smooth surfaces. When I must take stairs, they are now no problem. I feel the Service Dog going downward, and my I body adjusts accordingly. On the BEST days, I can accomplish twice the number of things I did before having the service dog, and at the end of the day I am pain free, instead of being unable to move.

 The “best” days are not easily accomplished. Balance is a delicate thing. I feel the slightest shift as I walk with the Service Dog. My reaction time is slowed on the left. I may know I need to make an adjustment but my body won’t allow me to do so.  The Service dog can assist me in trying to make adjustments. -- Notice I said TRYING to make adjustments.  What could possibly prevent adjustments?

Usually it’s a person who has come upon us either in front or behind the dog. On a bad day, it might be six people who stop dead in their tracks to STARE at us. It could be the person who does a “fly-by pet,” brushing, or poking at the dog. Irritating? Yes.

NOW imagine, yourself, doing everything you do in a day but, being TOTALLY dependent upon the Service Dog for balance. No cheating, you must be with the dog 24/7. Hundreds of people per day at the bank, grocery store, place of employment, doctor’s office, hair dresser, and restaurant. —365 days per year. Now you may have some idea how exhausting these interactions can be.

Let me add detail to the imaginary exercise. The Service Dog can prevent many falls but, sometimes there is no getting around it. -- Literally people insist upon enclosing us in a circle or being at “zero line” so there is just no room to move.  We can’t move, and other people won’t move (even when we ask them nicely). Suddenly, someone directly behind, or in front of me insists upon moving by pushing past me or the dog and I end up falling. Sometimes “the fall” jars my entire spine. —This necessitates several visits to pain management.

And Now the Rest of the Story…   “I JUST WANT TO… “TALK, ASK, BE A FRIEND”

I wish I could put a shield of invisibility around myself and the Service Dog. Part of me understands why people want to chat. Before having a Service Dog, I was somewhat introverted but still friendly. Having the Service Dog has changed my public personality. The freedom to go and do things I could never do before is fantastic but it comes with a price.

Let me illustrate with a hypothetical:

You are out on a normal day. You have an accessory, “cool shades,” the accessory everyone wants to look at and talk about “Cool Shades” are so cool everyone wants to tell you about their experience, or their friend’s experience, and their uncle’s best friend and his girlfriend, and their experience with the same but “sort of different “cool shades."

 In fact, your “cool shades” remind people of the “cool shades” they lost so they break down crying while telling you about their “cool shades.” You stop and listen to story #1, 2, 3,... 10. because you understand“the shades” are so cool. While you are listening to stories and trying to be friendly people pass by “barking” and saying, “oh cool shades.”

  Can you image how much sensory overload this causes?

Neither could I, until it happened to me!

At first, I saw no harm in chatting. By the end of the first week with my Service Dog I allowed no one to pet, or talk to the dog. I learned, even if I brace myself to prevent a fall, I am physically unable to stand while 25 people (literally I had a family member keep a count for me). came to say “hello.”

There are other practicalities:

Can you imagine every errand you run taking you three times as long because you have a stranger stop you and ask questions?

Can you imagine being asked to share the most private details of your life every day with total strangers? --Medical information, so private that it’s protected by Federal Law. -- A stranger asks you about it as you stand between the toilet tissue and soap at a supermarket?

REALLY? Yes, REALLY!

This REALLY happens to me several times a week!

 Can you imagine being sick in a doctor’s office and having a total stranger "talk at you," insisting        upon being inches from you, while having their kid run straight at you YELLING, "DOG!"

Neither could I until it happened to me!

Continuing the example:

 Imagine, in addition to all the events above,  you have a physical injury,   not just on one day,  but two or more days per month.

NOW, you have imagined “walking in our shoes.”

 

Do you see how this could bet taxing?

 Do you see how a person might come across to people as “short,” and unfriendly, when in reality they are simply emotionally drained?

I hope so!

Service Dogs come in all shapes and sizes, to manage all types of impairments. Each team works differently.   Life gets scary after many “near miss” and emergency situations. The priority of a Service Dog handler is SAFETY for the Service Dog, themselves, and others out in public. The second priority is managing our own limitations, completing things in the same amount of time as a “normal” person, under very different conditions. Where do you fit in? please understand we may not be delighted when you “zero line,” pop out a camera, and/or start asking questions.

Why do we do what we do?

Together, dog and human make a great team and we do what was once IMPOSSIBLE. That is INCREDIBLE and that is why we do what we do.

The ability to do that which you could NEVER do without the Service Dog is worth ANYTHING life throws at you.

We love to hear from fans. Check out our Facebook page, or drop us an email.

Please know when we are out and about we must say…

“Not Now, We Are Working!”

UPCOMING EVENTS:

It’s Your Dime Travel has put together an accessible affordable cruise for us.

HALLOWEEN AT SEA 2018!

Cruise along with TEAM GOODEE as we explore 3 Service Dog friendly ports.

We receive no compensation for reservations. We just love cruising and want to have a few friends along.

We'll be sailing on the new MSC ship, Seaside, from the Port of Miami, through the Eastern Caribbean to St. Maarten, San Juan, Puerto Rico and Nassau Bahamas.

MSC Seaside rewrites the rule book of cruise ship design, blending indoor and outdoor areas to connect you with the sea like never before. Circling the entire ship as low as Deck 8 is a unique seafront promenade lined with places to eat, drink, shop, swim and sunbathe. And you can enjoy more superb views from the two-deck glass-walled atrium and panoramic elevators.

Come on in the water is fine!

https://www.facebook.com/events/113215115945800/